It's been a very dark few weeks for me. I've been feeling bad about myself, my life and my situation. It's not a good place to be. The good part is that it forces some self reflection which I sorely need. I'll pull out of it just fine, but it does make for lack of blog entries because I refuse to make this the gloom and doom blog. No one wants to read that and I have no desire to look back and read about it either.
A change of perspective... I've been feeling a lack of friends ever since I moved to Colorado. Over the past few weeks, good supportive friends have been coming out of the woodwork. These are people I considered acquaintances, but it turns out many are much more than that. I've also met new people and they are awesome. I hope some will become life long friends. I am so thankful for those who have reached out to me lately.
About best friends... The only person who hasn't been supportive at all is the person I have always called my best friend. I have some more thinking to do about why I chose to call her my best friend. Perhaps it's because I've known her my whole life. She's given me a friend model with incredibly low expectations and that is not acceptable. I believe this is the root of my trouble making long lasting, meaningful friendships. My friends deserve better than I have been giving them and it's taken me 20 years to figure this out. The friendship bar has risen and if she falls off so be it. I deserve better. Harsh, yes - but it's the truth.
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2 comments:
This all sounds like good news to me. I mean dark times blow, but having tons of friends rocks. Personally, I'm not surprised it's a lot.
And about that "best friend:" meh.
Funny thing is she called me just a couple hours after I posted that - and I'm pretty sure she doesn't read this.
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